FAILURE
I rarely finish a project the way I intended it. I have a slew of failed renders, things that looked better in my head, things that took forever to render and still look like ass, things that I simply lost steam on… One of the worst offenders is this Mickey balloon simulation thing I started. It was supposed to be a metaphor for loneliness, perhaps death and maybe being an individual. Who the hell knows. It spanned CUDA and Metal Redshift (RIP). I never got the newer versions to look as good as the crappier CUDA renders but alas. It was even going to have Vince Staples reading a poem about death. Ironic that a piece about being painfully alone and dead lives on a hard drive island constantly being shoved deeper into the closet of forgotten projects. This silly video has nagged at me for too long. Now that we have the farm, there’s no excuse to not tighten some things up, simplify and get this bitch out. Some self work has inspired me to show my tinkering and champion the bullshit gauntlet I ran to get here.
The simulation that kicked the whole thing off. Could it be done? Sure…shit now we have to dress it up.
Figured out the grid but now the simulation explodes instead of just existing like lifeless drones.
Holy shit hit save!
The void…
After I got things textured and lit mildly it started to take shape. I found great triumph in the motion, the photo-real-ness of the images eclipsing the lens, the behavior… With all that, things like the background, aliasing in the textures… really began to drive me crazy
The false hope begins to set in here.
The other thing that needed to be figured out is tethering the main balloon down but with real enough physics // behavior to pull off the gag.
Textures and lighting got better though. This is that CUDA glow I basically ruined.
Next to zero noise…
With hindsight, I am super happy with these frames. The real failure set in when I tried to edit something super pretentious together. The cracks begin to show when you see the awful background and RS Environment blunders.
“To live is to suffer.”
I am determined to get this thing out. Perhaps not the way I intended but OUT nonetheless. I am enjoying the journey, enjoying the failure.